hellooooo... HIIIIII
so i have been back for a few days now, and tbh i havent done nothing much with my life... actually scratch that!! on 14 sep 2010 i got SAAAVEEEDDD AAGAAAIN!! dat was an amazing night... because the days before that i was sinking into pits of sadness and other stuff.... but thank the lord i have been freeed and lifted up!! whoopee!!
me being me.. i can not be a stereotypical christian....i really dont think i know how to? so i am really just going to try and play it by "ear"... as in by listening to my conscious... because i look at some of these christians out there and i think WOOWW... ooh woow... may God help me to get there one day... but for now i think i will like to remain in Love with God.. fun... free and liberal enjoying being friends with Him first... hesh...
Being Christian... well this blog is quite a ramble i must say... not my usual structured prose.. and spelling is probably terrible but i am just typing as i am feeling...
as i was saying.. being christian.. not gunna lie this time around it feels a lil weird... like new weird... i slid back into sin sooo unconsciously and it was mainly through laziness to get up and pray and read my bible... AND also through the fear of becoming a hard backed "bible basher" who no longer has empathy for people that arent at their level of christianity yet... people like that scare me tbh... BUT i am realising that just because i am saved i dont have to be like that... i can just love and serve the lord in my own individual way...
ALSO i have learned that in order to stay rooted i need to surround myself with positive things.... as the way my mind thinks.. it likes to think of every negative thing in the book magnify it and x it by 10-- the so called x10 thinking... then applies it to me... basic example you see something nasty on the floor, a normal person will be like... eww thats nasty...but walk by and get over it.. me i will be like euurgh thats nasty... then whilst walking by think... eww imagine if i ate the nasty thing... or tripped up and fell face down in it.. imagine if the nasty thing got up and turned into a monster and knew my name and chased me down peckham high street... ok.. not as dramtic as that last scenario but you get my drift...
remedy this- by surrounding myself with positive things i can make it a thing where i "x10" about positive things... like reading my bible, listning to gospel, watching christian vids on youtube... not gunna lie before i didnt like doing these sorts of things because i felt like it would turn me into those christians that are constantly bombarding you with christianity, relgion God... but you know what.. what is wrong with that anyways? hmm...
my motive... to be a grounded christian... with wings to fly when it is time... ;)
sorry about the unstructurdness. was just musing..
see you in the skyyyy--- oohh random point.. i have somehow managed to pick up a fear of flying... can anyone help with this? cus i duno if i can fly again for the next i dont know 100 years... ACTUALLY i rebuke that!! if you claim it.. then you are it.. so i dont claim it.. i reject it.. i will fly again in jesus name amen!
i digress.. as we were before..
goodbye
xx
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